How I Learned to Embody My True Self with Feminine Archetypes

Can you think back to a friend group you had in middle or high school or a group of friends you have now? What role did you have in that group?

Maybe you were the smart one, the one who always got good grades, the one who was really sweet and compassionate, the funny one…

Over the years, I feel like my labels or roles adapted based on which group of friends I was in. But it was usually somewhere in the field of the smart one, the hard worker, the serious one, the quiet one, the reserved one…

And yet that didn’t really feel good to me. It didn't feel like, “yes, this is the real me and this is all of me.”

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Plus, whenever I opened up more, got excited, lively... I often felt like people reacted negatively to that. As if they were saying, “whoa, what are you doing? Get back to your lane. This isn’t who you’re supposed to be. We're not used to you being this way. You're usually that way. Just stick to that.”

And yet I knew deep down that I had all of these different parts to me. If you really get to know me, you get to see that I am definitely someone who's very committed and devoted, someone who has big goals in life and wants to make an impact. But I'm also someone who's incredibly compassionate and has so much empathy. I'm also a very nurturing and kind being. I'm also very peaceful and intuitive. I'm also incredibly intelligent. I'm also very passionate and alive. And I'm also a sensual and elegant person.

And yet, for so long, I felt like that was wrong. Like I was supposed to be one thing.

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And looking at the generations of women before me, there was a long time in our history where women were diminished to one role.

But then we also had this trend of women stepping into careers and this feeling when people ask too much of us - and we're supposed to be everything to everyone all the time.

I thought there must be a way for me to be more than just one thing, but for that not to feel exhausting and inauthentic, asking us to abandon ourselves for the sake of fitting in with others.

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That's when I realized you can find your true self with the feminine archetypes.

And for me, the archetypes felt like such a salvation for this dilemma that I had been stuck in for so long. For me, the archetypes are a way for us to expand into all of who we are, to not have to limit ourselves to the roles that we were given, and actually get to own the fact that we are multifaceted beings.

That we have more to give and there’s more to our true selves than just one thing. But, it also helped me see that I don't need to be all of these things all the time in every situation.

And essentially, it helped me reclaim the power of my true self. It helped me realize that who I am is not singular or stagnant. It's always evolving and it's multifaceted.

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We get to choose when to tap into these different parts. It's not up to somebody else to ask for which part they want of you, and instead it's up to you to decide which part you want to express.

And it also helped me see how leaning into just one or a few aspects of yourself doesn't fuel or empower you. It actually limits and depletes you.

If you're constantly operating out of the Sage, for example, that hard-working, committed, intellectual part of you, you lose out on passion, curiosity, joy, love, nurture, and kindness.

You get disconnected from the real you. Plus that part of you that holds so much power is going to start showing up in shadow ways. She's going to start showing up in a way where you're constantly managing endless details. You're stuck in planning mode because you're so afraid of going for it and seeing what happens. You're stuck in perfectionism, thinking that you need to have every step of the plan laid out before you can just take one step forward.

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Those situations are when understanding the archetypes within you is such a powerful resource.

When you can tap into the Lover's confidence in who she is, or you can tap into the Mother's nurture who reminds you that you are loved no matter the outcome, then you can finally reclaim the embodied woman within. You can feel good in your own skin without waiting for everybody else's approval of who you are. Plus, you step into a form of self-leadership.

Where you're not constantly swayed by other people's perceptions of you. You're not constantly abandoning yourself in order to keep the peace for everybody else. And you're true to who you are because you actually know who you are. And you've learned to embody that even before you have everything figured out.

But the only way to do that is to tap into your ultimate power, which comes from embodying all of the different archetypes instead of staying stuck in the one you've gotten really good at, which is also probably the one that other people wanted you to be. Or, the one that showed up as a way of protecting the other parts of you from getting hurt again after someone didn't fully see you or nourish, support, and encourage you. So you've learned to hide. To stay small. To stay guarded.

But all it’s accomplishing is hurting you. Limiting you from stepping into your power, being your true self, and leading the impact you're here to create.

To start shifting that, you can get started with these journal prompts to reconnect with the real you, including the parts that have seemed too much in the past.

Open Journal Prompts

(Haven't taken the free quiz to discover which feminine archetype is your leading woman? Take the free quiz here)